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notes from a session on 18 February 2019 with Mark from Auckland and Nick Laurence

Nick Laurence hosted a small gathering with Mark, an associate from Auckland, about the emerging future and what it means to be authentic and show-up rather than contrive to be what you think is needed for any given circumstance.

The following key words and phrases arose in the discussion:

• openness
• seeing others
• connecting
• being authentic to who you are
• deep self-compassion and acceptance
• yearning for connecting
• awareness
• connecting to ease
• not hiding / courage
• being with suffering
• equanimity / balanced neutrality
• not shrinking down
• responsibility
• change
• letting go of control
• cutting through
• circling to “now”
• patterns of distorted reactions – finding truth within distortions
• presence as contribution
• commitment
• safety

Mark encouraged the group to connect to their genuine needs and desires and sift them from phantom needs. By connecting to genuine needs, we can be lead to amazing beauty. Identifying genuine needs empowers those needs to be met.

Showing-up means being rewarded for presence rather than knowing, leaving behind colonization and judgement.

Mark

Required Skills

inquiry

Asking our own questions while remaining open to the unknown.

Embarking on that process of inquiry with someone to support or accompany us on the journey.

discernment

Considering what is true and developing a fidelity of discernment to resolve the question of “how do I know?”

practice… integrity

How do I live what I believe to be true?

In order to practice integrity, it must engage the whole body. We are only able to fully live a select number of things to be true to ourselves.

Developing integrity happens through iteration.

collaboration

When collaborating, devoting energy and defining boundaries allows for mutuality and freedom.

Certain conditions support deep collaboration. It is worth investigating what conditions are necessary for each of us.

contribution

Ask yourself:

• where and what are my ways of contributing?
• am i able to do this in a satisfying way?
• what are we trying to avoid?

Notice what you are resisting. Favor embodiment (a tangible or visible form of an idea, quality, or feeling) over projected learning (abstract ideas void of form or application).

Memory and status take us away from living what we need to be now.

The memory of it is not the truth of it.

“vulnerable & in my power”

“stronger web of community”

1. 80% is figuring out if I’m doing what I need to do to show up.

2. If I can’t, who can I ask for help?

There are ways of staying present with reality that we can work with to allow us to collaborate. Bring yourself, without pretense, and see what happens.

Deep collaboration is a hypothesis to address deep adaptation.

telling stories about the human experience – connections

we are more connected than we realize – “to feel”

creativity = new ideas, new thinking

REAL CHANGE begins within; must start here before it effects others

involvement

holding space for both success and failure

valuing yourself and your own voice

“we seek to protect what we love”

“Everyone gets to define their own narrative”

Tom Conroy – resident novelist

“…it matters not how small the beginning may seem…”

One thing done well lasts forever.

“your heart is the gate”

Unteach: we are not providing answer… answers are left to the audience

“unsayable can be said”

writing is a sensory experience – it is showing people a world they can step into

writing = “take some situation and make it worse and worse”

Let the first words be horrible.

The real craft of writing is those willing to edit.

“In the deepest part of our hearts lies a tunnel that leads to every other person.”

The feeling of needing directions or a map or just a sense of where something is but looking at your phone your fear that the I is searching for a signal and its only at 1%. that feeling of knowing you could have done more = brought a charging block or downloaded the map or written out the instructions. Something more than just glancing at the address. its a new city and you don’t know which throughways or which is north. You can guess – wander – take wrong turns and back track – but you will definitely be late. There is just enough time to get their if you go directly. What do you do? Trust your underwhelming directional sense? Ask someone? So you ask, and it sounds so obvious when they explain. Until you keep walking and don’t see any street names. The sidewalk is running out. The light is lowering. You are either in shadow or blinding light reflected off glossy high rise towers. You are frozen at an intersection with no cross walk.